tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-63838743036207758972012-02-16T04:51:31.100-08:00We begin again... I was lost in my pain, lost in loneliness but no more. I am inspired, empowered and uplifted by a new set of morals, values and truths. I will no longer be JUST the wife, or JUST the mother. I am C and ready to see her againthe TQ Bearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09829979427468576873noreply@blogger.comBlogger121100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6383874303620775897.post-9218354346832172892009-09-04T15:08:00.000-07:002009-09-04T15:09:59.350-07:00

Fibromyalgia doesn't just cripple the sufferers it tackles and attempts to take out the family and friends as well. This year I'm going to try and help to educate my community and the world. My hope is to educate, inspire and give FMS sufferers a way to cope. I have been suffering from FMS for just over 4 years. Educating my family and friends has been hard and exasperating @ times. People

the TQ Bearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09829979427468576873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6383874303620775897.post-50686417961434314412009-08-17T18:10:00.003-07:002009-08-17T18:10:49.472-07:00

I have been remiss in stating that I have been keeping a written journal with my thoughts and feelings.  It is dated and when my hand recovers from the surgery I will be under going tomorrow I will finally be able to upload them to the computer.  I'm sure many of you have probably been wondering why this has stayed empty and I have been filling it.  It's just that I don't own a laptop and my

the TQ Bearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09829979427468576873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6383874303620775897.post-71698363051415714752009-08-15T16:45:00.000-07:002009-09-08T03:26:58.014-07:00

long time everyone, lol just wanted to let everyone know that I've been keeping a old style journal. with my hand injury it's been hard to update the puter. my surgery is scheduled for the 18th and will allow me to at least get back to my puter fun and my crafts. see ya on the other side of my surgery.

the TQ Bearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09829979427468576873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6383874303620775897.post-85837899573790590482009-05-01T00:59:00.000-07:002009-09-12T11:00:28.077-07:00

I hit a milestone this week. And while I probably should be sleeping and my body is definitely exhausted, I need to document this.I cooked 3 out of 5 days this week! That is the most I have cooked since I became sick. Well okay maybe I have cooked that many times in a week but NIT in a really long time. Also it is important that I point out that it was three days in a row! Real meals too,

the TQ Bearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09829979427468576873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6383874303620775897.post-72604964068377818192009-04-21T22:55:00.000-07:002009-09-12T10:22:37.399-07:00

Sometimes I wonder if I read too much. As if there was a curse of written words embedded in my skin. But it's more than that...They call to me books, they whisper their secrets when I enter a library or bookstore. Their whispers are coarse like the roughness of their pages. Yet soft and willowy like the words from which they are given life.From a very young age, I have constantly surrounded

the TQ Bearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09829979427468576873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6383874303620775897.post-71164315546579602052009-04-18T16:25:00.000-07:002009-09-12T10:24:55.928-07:00

My mind has recently concluded that I have purged most of my irrational fears concerning the recent events in my psyche. I did have an irrational moment of fear but it was not what one would expect after living through the last 4 years.My momentary panic was actually in reaction to the thought of losing Torrey. In the past this was a common occurrence. Especially in the early years of our

the TQ Bearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09829979427468576873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6383874303620775897.post-82463687943672921382009-04-17T06:31:00.000-07:002009-09-12T10:16:49.467-07:00

Sometimes I feel so helpless, the pain takes over and I am the pain. It defines the moment.Last night was bad, so very reminiscent of Alaska. I had a night mare of being in the mountains, a cabin. It was so cold, and my muscles began to spasm. The bones began to ache and swell. In the dream I fought for warmth and consciousness.I awoke feeling Torrey's presence in the house. I took my

the TQ Bearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09829979427468576873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6383874303620775897.post-80900069307055912562009-04-14T16:45:00.000-07:002009-04-23T02:20:43.845-07:00

Today I'm suffering from allergies.  I had to run to CVS to get some Sinus/Allergy meds.  I feel like my nose is a water faucet.  It continues to run as if the handle is broken.Torrey has slept most of the day.  He is on this really annoying schedule.  I asked him last night,  "...how are we are supposed to rebuild our relationship when one of us is always going to be sleeping?"  I mean really...

the TQ Bearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09829979427468576873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6383874303620775897.post-19188415463793740452009-04-13T04:17:00.000-07:002009-04-13T06:32:31.887-07:00

I'm still having a hard time with why Torrey's still here. I know why I'm still her. I just can't see my life with out this man in it. But why is he still here? What does he see in me that compels him to stay. Why is so different now when I wasn't "enough" before?I've tried to question him about u, about his choice to stay. he seems to be staying because I'm a"good woman". But I have

the TQ Bearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09829979427468576873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6383874303620775897.post-47131628601622543722009-04-10T21:28:00.000-07:002009-09-08T05:44:40.175-07:00

As my new identity emerges..... from my written journal In starting this new blog, I stride in a new direction. In my blog and my journal I have still been holding onto the past. I don't want to let go of the hurt, but now I'm moving forward. Whatever I write in this journal will now be transferred to my blog. Starting with this one...Today I got on the computer before I laid down for bed.

the TQ Bearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09829979427468576873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6383874303620775897.post-44591024124618654762009-04-10T10:03:00.000-07:002009-04-13T06:10:27.641-07:00

And yet I find my self at the computer trying to make sure I don't miss the world while I lay in bad...yet again. Somehow I always manage to get on the computer before I lay down. Today when I got on the computer I thought once again "I need to lay down" I know I probably should have just taken my meds and laid my behind down. However I had to go to the Mother's board, then to Facebook, then

the TQ Bearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09829979427468576873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6383874303620775897.post-91298455339994429892009-04-10T00:17:00.000-07:002009-09-08T03:35:38.029-07:00

Time is always inching forward whether I want it to or not. Life continues whether I have a part in it or not. So I admit I must change even after so many changes. I have yet more to implement. At the suggestion of our marital therapist I'm going in a new direction. After suffering from the ill effects of re-reading my previous blog entries..... I will again begin againIn starting this new

the TQ Bearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09829979427468576873noreply@blogger.com0