As my new identity emerges..... from my written journal
In starting this new blog, I stride in a new direction. In my blog and my journal I have still been holding onto the past. I don't want to let go of the hurt, but now I'm moving forward. Whatever I write in this journal will now be transferred to my blog. Starting with this one...
Today I got on the computer before I laid down for bed. I know I probably should have just taken my medications and laid my behind down. First I had to go to the Mother's Board, then Facebook, then My Space. The computer is my main connection to the outside world. It's how I stayed connected in the past, inside my loneliness. Some habits can not be broken so easily. even now when I do so much more than I did in Alaska, I still find myself craving the web "contact". I was alone in this world of pain, it's weird to be visible again.
All the sudden he's kissing me when he leaves for work, he hold me when I'm lonely, he touches me with passion again. It's strange and it's wonderful. Our therapist says to look at the wonderful. It's so hard still though, so many years with out someone who cared for me. I was really all alone. Hmmm, now we start again. I thank God, but I still question the course of my life, but don't we all.
In starting this new blog, I stride in a new direction. In my blog and my journal I have still been holding onto the past. I don't want to let go of the hurt, but now I'm moving forward. Whatever I write in this journal will now be transferred to my blog. Starting with this one...
Today I got on the computer before I laid down for bed. I know I probably should have just taken my medications and laid my behind down. First I had to go to the Mother's Board, then Facebook, then My Space. The computer is my main connection to the outside world. It's how I stayed connected in the past, inside my loneliness. Some habits can not be broken so easily. even now when I do so much more than I did in Alaska, I still find myself craving the web "contact". I was alone in this world of pain, it's weird to be visible again.
All the sudden he's kissing me when he leaves for work, he hold me when I'm lonely, he touches me with passion again. It's strange and it's wonderful. Our therapist says to look at the wonderful. It's so hard still though, so many years with out someone who cared for me. I was really all alone. Hmmm, now we start again. I thank God, but I still question the course of my life, but don't we all.
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